Saturday, August 16, 2008

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette

I have decided to use this blog to keep people up on my cancer progress.

After a Friday of talking to doctors, I have decided on what they call an agressive program to attack the cancer.

My main reason is that I am "young old" and not in my eighties. I need a cure. I am not striving for just a few more years.

Therefore I have chosen Door Number Two. This will mean chemo and then surgery.

I will have chemo here in Jackson. There will be three weeks of chemo, then a rest week, then three more weeks of chemo. Then I will be re-evaluated. Depending on the results, I will then have either have surgery at Vanderbilt or three more weeks of chemo before the surgery. Unfortunately I do not know the basis of the evaluation. The purpose of the chemo is to shrink the tumors to make the surgery easier. After the surgery I will probably then have radiation to wipe out the microscopic cancers that may be left.

I look forward to starting treatment. I am cautiously optimistic . I seem to go up and down. Fortunately I have never been really terribly down.

I appreciate every one's interest. I have underestimated people. I told my sister Janice that I have been surprised at the people's reaction. I honestly didn't think people would care as much as they do. Of course that made her cry more.

I remember that but now I am getting used to being prayed for, held, and generally I feel that I walk around with an aura of good wishes around me. It has been very nice to always feel so cared for.

The girls are not doing that great. What an unfair prospect they face of perhaps losing both parents early. I always taught them that life is unfair. But they don't deserve this.

As for as not being fair in general, I think about all the little babies born the day I was. Some died then. So what has fair got to do with that.

I don't really know what awaits me with the therapy. A long painful ordeal I understand. I will try my best to get through this with dignity and not be too much a burden on people. My wonderful sister Julia will do most of the caring.Please include her in your prayers.

Aunt Mary, I am very very optimistic on this. I am so glad that you've elected the aggressive path for this.

Love, Jay
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