Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Mother died last Wednesday night.

They called me on Tuesday night to tell me that she had fallen and hurt herself. This was unusual. When she fell, she would just crumple to the floor, softly falling, not hurting herself at all. The nurse said they had called the doctor. The test seemed fine and they had given her some tylenol.

I visited her Wednesday afternoon. She looked bad. There were black blotches around her eyes where it looked as if blood vessels had burst. Not bruised, like a black eye, just really black. She also had a bruised and scraped chin, and bruises and scrapes on her elbow and knee.

She was lying on the bed in her room but this wasn't unusual. She seemed to be feeling okay.. In fact, I asked if she was hurting and she said no. We visited a while and I told her I could get some yard work in before dark if I left then. So, about 5 o'clock, I kissed her and left.

Sometime between 9:30 and 10, the nursing home called. "This is Kathy at the nursing home. Someone in Miss Nola's family needs to come to the nursing home." I said I would be there and asked no questions. Did I know then? Probably, maybe I asked no questions because I didn't want to know the answer.

I drove over there without calling anyone because I really knew nothing to tell anyone. When I got there, the nurse at the desk told me that Mother had passed away. She took me down the hall but the aides had not finished preparing Mother so I went back to the desk area and started calling.

I started, I think, with James, and then called June, John, and Janice, gave them the news and asked them to come. John was going to wait for Charlotte who was on her way home from work or school. John had the sense to call Dwain who called some of the Seatons.

I think I got in to see Mother before others got there but I am not sure. Mother was lying in bed with that beautiful silver hair. She looked different because she was lying on her back and Mother always laid in the bed on her side with her hands drawn up.

Everyone did get there. Keith went to get Denee. That was hard for Denee. Mother's preacher also came.

I did not know what to do about Julia. Finally everyone decided that Frankie should go tell her so I called and got him out of bed. Julia is stronger than we think. she has done well.

After a while, we left. John and Charlotte stayed until the funeral home came to get Mother.

We went to Janice's to make some decisions. James and I had made all the arrangements so there were not that many things to decide. One decision was to have the grandsons and grandsons-in-law to be pallbearers. This worked out beautifully as each family contributed one.
Jay, Alvin, Ken,Tony, Jonathan, and Justin.

Sometime during the night I called Anne. Since it is one hour later in Florida, I decided to wait till morning to call Beth.

I don't think I slept any that night. The next morning Thursday, we met at the funeral home to complete arrangements. Since there was a wedding at the church on Saturday, we decided to have the funeral on Sunday. Julia picked out a dress for Mother; this was important for her.

The casket and vault, both in Mother's favorite green color, we had picked out years ago.

Then it was a long wait.

Thursday night we ate at Snookum's. Unfortunately we couldn't get in touch with James. Friday night we ate at my house. So many people had brought food that we stuffed ourselves.

Beth and Jay flew up to Nashville from Jacksonville together. Anne and Ken did yeoman's job of getting all these people here. Beside the five Ruckers, Jay, Beth, and Adrienne rode here from Nashville in their vehicle.

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