Gaegrand

James called me yesterday. I could hear noise in the background because he was at Wal-Mart, or Wally-World, as he calls it.

He wanted to know if I had any suggestion for something to get Mother for Christmas.I haven't gotten her anything myself so I was no help to him.

One time last week I thought I had come upon something. QVC was selling a little shrug that was warm and had pockets on the end. Mother is always cold so I thought that would be perfect for her. But then I started thinking about more practical matters. Mother loses everything that is not nailed down. And if something is laid down, another patient will pick it up and take it off. (Mother does this, too.)

Since it isn't buttoned onto her, she would lose it the first time she wore it.

So I did not order it.

I told James that Mother just didn't need anything.

He agreed but he said it was a sad thing that Mother didn't need anything, it was like she had nothing to look forward to.

Actually, it is sad. Mother doesn't have anything to look forward to. Just more days of sitting in the hallway, and picking at her food. I envy the patients who enjoy their food. It is good food. Julia and I ate lunch with Mother last month and we both ate every scrap of food on the tray.

I grew up deprived and I have always had a bad case of the wants. I wanted everything. The bigger the house, the happier I would be. I wanted everything in Kirkland's, a store that Jerrell correctly described as a place that was filled with things that truthfully nobody needed.

I have passed through that stage. Now I certainly don't want a big house. I just about only want travel, clothes, jewelry, and books.

I think there is a happy medium here somewhere. If you don't want anything, life is just about over. If you want too much, you can't enjoy what you have.